Sunday, April 29, 2018

How do you want to be kissed?



I want him to grab me and pull me to him as though I am his oxygen. 

I want to hear every sexy, love song play in my head as I feel his lips pressed to mine. 

I want to be dizzy...completely dizzy. 

I want to tingle in places that...

I think every person deserves to be shown a complete affection as though they are the most important person to someone. A woman should feel love, respect, and as though she is fragile and strong all at the same time. She should feel like she can conquer whatever she wants to conquer because of the support and love shown to her by this most important man in her life.

I'm not talking one night stands. I'm not even talking about sex. I am talking about love, amor, L'amor, liefde, laska, etc....

Love makes a kiss so much more passionate. It makes one's breath catch in their throat and creates a sensation of falling. It makes you feel like nothing can possibly go wrong. It makes everything in life more tolerable. It makes life good! 

Of course, the science people would like to point out to me that it is endorphins causing all the feel-good emotions in the body. However, I would argue the point. I think it's more. I think that while endorphins do kick in and make us tingly in parts of our body, I would suggest that the feel-good feeling has the power to make us want to feel it again. It makes us want to work out so that we will look good for our mate. It makes us want to clean a little more, dress a little better, dance, or even breathe deeper. It makes life look a bit more manageable. 

I think a kiss that rocks our boat makes us feel special. It makes us know that even for that brief moment we can have something extraordinary. Forget everything bad because I've got someone to share life with! I know someone will be there to kiss me like there is no tomorrow. I know that with that one kiss, I am important. I am special. I am all woman. With that one kiss, I can roar like a freaking lion and the world will step back and know that I am not to be messed with.

A crazy, magnificent kiss can alter a person's life. Have you had one of those lately?

Peace and Love,

Tela

Friday, April 20, 2018

My Jacksonville State University

I visited my college campus today. A tornado decided a few weeks back that it needed to stop and visit my school. It ripped up trees, downed power lines, left whole areas of the campus and the immediate area off-limits, and just left too many houses to count in shambles. I cried.

I wondered how it is that a storm decides it needs to sit down in a certain area and have a party. I am happy there were no deaths in all of that devastation; however, it is bad. People, you can see the storm in every building on campus, it seemed. I used to think the business building with it's huge mural was one of the most intriguing buildings on campus. It's a wreck. Ernest Stone, the drama and English department was hardly touched. It has a few things to show evidence of the tornado, like some upturned roofing and downed trees.

Let's talk the trees on campus. I hope you have pictures of those huge, magnificent things, because the storm took them. If they were not taken, they were beaten to show their despair. I drove around the TMB and there was this lonely tree standing there. It was standing, but if it could talk it would tell a story of whispers from the trees and screams and rumblings from the ground from my campus. I teared up at this tree.

See, JSU is MY campus. It was my dad's campus, my brother's campus, my sister-in-law's campus, my cousins' campus, and it is the home of my SOUTHERNERS! Blow 20Js! I remember yelling that across the field for my brother his freshman year. He he he!!! I remember asking him if he heard me in front of the whole section with Dave Higgins as the section leader of the Toads! Dave laughed and said yes, they had ALLLLLL heard me. I was sold! JSU was going to be my campus, too.

Sure enough, 4 years later and I was a flute player with the Southerners. It was a most awesome experience to march with this fine group of people. Hats off to all of you! No one could trill a trumpet like Tommy could do. He was magic on that thing! Scott, without you, I would have never passed music theory! Thank you! I also remember saving another flute player from exposure at the photo shoot when she passed out in the sun. Before she dropped, she whispered, "I'm not wearing any pants under these!" My memories from JSU always make me giggle.

I have fantastic memories from the Drama Department in 2002-2004 when I returned for my Masters. I would take my Will with me to classes where Dr. Whitton would talk about how he had heard that iguana tastes like chicken. He saw my Will years later and still remembered my oldest son from his class. Will helped in make-up with friends of Jeff and Angela and Jason and our wonderful professor, Freddy. He was always ready to teach us new techniques. I still have my Klingon mask I made in that class. I will never forget Jeff telling Will they had a real bear on stage. Of course, Will wanted to see the bear.

JSU is an awesome school. It will be just fine. Despite the destruction, there were people walking around campus with their heads held high and with smiling faces. There were construction crews working everywhere. I stopped at my favorite yarn store and got my dose of smile for the day. She always remembers us and can't wait to see what I pull out of the discount basket. She also told us about a new skateboard park in Jacksonville by Kitty Stone.

Our day worked out perfect with a stop at the finest BBQ in AL, The Rocket. We visited my campus, my yarn shop, and a skateboard park. Yes, I did get on the board, for just a brief minute. I think I'm too old for that sport!
Peace and Love,

Tela

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

My Container Garden



 One thing that makes me truly happy is playing in the dirt. From the time I can remember, I was delighted to get my pants dirty by making mud pies under the pine trees. Playing in the dirt is therapeutic to me. That dirt under my nails and the coffee in my hand is free therapy for me and you!

I don't really have the soil to plant too much in the ground. Plus, I already had numerous pots in the garage. I just got them all out yesterday and filled some with some of the dirt from other pots. I just had to plant some of my seeds!

I bought seeds at the dollar store for $.25 each. That's a steal! No, they are not organic and they probably are from last year, but hey, it's a seed!

Memory lane moment! Does anyone remember going to Hunts and Wright in Boaz, AL? It's no longer there, but it was THE place to go for all our seed needs as a kid. I remember how my parents would get the garden tilled and ready for seeds. We would go to that store and the smell of the place would just make you warm with the thoughts of sunshine. He had the big seed bins and scoops for all the different plants. He had bundles of onions and cabbage and strawberries on his sidewalk. We would get all kinds of seeds: green beans, squash, eggplant, okra, watermelon, and anything else we wanted. He had it all! Mom would have him stack up our seeds, then walk outside to the live plants. We always bought live tomatoes, not seeds. We also bought this little bundle of cabbage that could turn into at least 100 plants when separated by Mom! On a funny note, Mom asked me to weed the carrots one time. I pulled up all the carrot plants instead of the weeds. We laughed about it and I replanted the carrots.

I planted herbs yesterday as well as peppers of 3 different varieties to include bell pepper, cayenne, and some other kind I can't remember now. I planted some marigolds in a hanging pot for my courtyard. I need more of those because they are supposed to deter mosquitos. I'll keep you posted on that one! I planted some chives. I really like chives! They are yummy little onion sisters. I also planted some basil and parsley, as well as oregano and Thyme. In a bed of some flowers I also planted some lettuce seed and spinach seed. Popeye will appreciate that! ;-) I still have a few things to plant like cucumbers and green beans. I love green beans! Last year I had a bumper crop of cucumbers growing but the birds decided it was a buffet. Couldn't keep the cuties out of them! I will have to come up with a scarecrow and things to keep the birds out of the garden. I also want some berries and I think I will plant an apple tree. I really like apples, especially with peanut butter!

I also discovered I have the purple flowered clover in my yard. It's in the photo right in the middle. I am excited!

After all my planting yesterday, I decided to sit and relax in one of the most peaceful spots of my backyard.
Today, I need more potting soil.

Peace and Love,

Tela




Tuesday, April 17, 2018

I've made my decision

I have made my decision. I am afraid that unless the fairy godmother decides to come pay off all of my current bills and helps me to buy a camper, I believe I will have to stay put where I am.

I have a lovely house right here, and for the price of it, I can't beat it. My household bills here are not very bad either. I know my bills are better than some people have. My parents and I were comparing power bills today and I nearly choked over the price they paid this month for their power.

I have loads of things I need to get in order before moving anywhere. I need to make sure my credit is totally grand. I also need to have a job I want to go to on a daily basis. I also need an affordable house, camper, apartment, whatever I decide.

Let's face it. In my lifetime I've had one other house that was affordable in this way. I regretted leaving it after trying to pay for a more expensive place. I believe I am right in staying put. Besides, I can always take trips to the beach...maybe.

Now, instead of sorting through bunches of things and throwing away stuff, I can find it all a happy home and get my house decluttered. Cluttered a little is normal. Cluttered to the point I am now is crazy to me. I can't stand it. Gotta have a little order! That must be the Capricorn in me! ha ha ha!

Now, I have to drink another cup of coffee.

Peace and Love,

Tela

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Expenses

Do you ever stop and think about how much money is spent eating out with friends, family, or on the road?

My son and I can zip into a to go spot and spend anywhere from $6 to $20 on one meal. Now, how many times can I do that in a day? At one time when I was driving 60 miles to and from work daily, we would stop almost every evening for supper. Sometimes, we'd stop for breakfast as well. Ok, that would be roughly $20 to $35 per day on fast food all because I was too dang lazy to come home and make something.

Hmmm...

I'm not talking expensive places to eat. Although, there are people who will go out to more expensive places and spend $25-50 per meal for 2 people. They will do that one every night.

How many good for me groceries could I buy for that?

Well, I went to the grocery store yesterday for cheese, all-purpose flour, cherry drink, cheese sticks, blueberries, coffee, and lights for the bathroom. It was a few cents shy of $20. What if I had spent that $20 eating out? I wouldn't have light in the bathroom!

I mowed my own yard this week. What if I had paid the local mower in the neighborhood to mow the yard? He wanted to charge $45 last year just for my small front yard. I said no. I mowed it myself and saved some money!

Look around your house at things you have that maybe serve no purpose. They just kind of sit and collect dust. My last boyfriend, now an ex, collected these vinyl Pop figures. He has a TON of them or 1,300, which is a TON of them! I like Sesame Street. I grew up on it and have always dreamed of writing for the show! I started getting a Sesame Street Pop out and about when I'd be out with him. Then he started collecting those for me and now I have a whole set of big-headed, plastic dolls from Sesame Street! What am I supposed to do with these crazy things?!! It made him happy to collect these stupid things for me. I kind of like them, but kind of don't. When I sit here and look at them, they are kind of creepy! These things costed from about $5 to $25 each depending on where and when they were bought. At 12 of them being priced at say $15 each that equals $180 for that collection. That's a few weeks of groceries in my house!

These are Pops. Not my pops, but still sort of creepy. 

I have stacks of magazines and books. I was never a library kid because I could read faster than they could get new, interesting books. I have spent a lot of money on books. I refuse to even break down that expense! It would make me need more coffee and I am already on cup number 3. Let's just say, I believe in my next life, I will become a library buff!

Peace and Love,

Tela

Friday, April 13, 2018

My House

Good evening my friends! I hope you've all had a wonderful day. I have spent my day in my yard doing yard cleanup! I had my son help me. Then my folks came down and we all ate sandwiches and chips outside. It was a good day!

I've had beautiful azaleas this year. They have had so many gorgeous blooms! 
 They are on top of each other and taller than my head!

Today, I had to mow the yard. Of course one of the pitfalls of loving my half-dead tree are limbs in the yard. I had my son do stick pick-up while I pulled out dead limbs from the azaleas and raked leaves. And raked leaves, and raked some more leaves. 
I'm sure the limb and leaf truck will be happy to fill the truck with one stop! 

My parents want me to stay right here. It is a lovely house with a marvelous yard. I remember picking it because I could see myself staying here. I love the yard and I love the house. I am an avid bookaholic and I don't know what I will do in a camper with all of my books. I guess I will have to keep only a few. (Can a bookaholic do that?!) 

I believe, as I stretch out in my bed in my room tonight I will have to conduct a serious discussion with my little nest. 

I don't know what I plan to do now.

Peace and Love,

Tela

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Let's talk finances

Why am I daring to move out of a house and into a camper on the beach?

Well, for one thing, I will see a decrease of roughly half of my debt. I will also save myself around $330 per month on bills by moving into the desired RV park on the beach I want to call home. I'll break it down.

I owe $65K for my house.
I owe $22K for my car.
I owe $50K in student loans
I owe $5K for breaking my apartment rent in GA.
--------------------------------------------------------------
That equals roughly $142K in debt for all the crap I have. 

Now, let us look at the cost of living from this house vs the park.

House
$370-House payment
$200-Power can fluctuate from $70 to $400 depending on the weather.
$60-Wifi
$12-Netflix
$75-Gas can fluctuate from $50 to about $150 depending on the weather.
$25-Water
$457-Car
$239-Verizon phones
-------------------------------------------------------------------
$1,438 per month on bills for the house


Camper
$380-Lot Rent
$75-Power
$0-Wifi is free
$0-TV is free
$12-Netflix
$35-Propane tank for camper depending on how much it is used.
$0-Water is free
$457-Car
$150-T-Mobile
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
$1,109


The camper living is cheaper by $329/month or $3,948/year.

That's a significant savings when added up like this.

After selling the house and paying off the GA debt, I will be only $72k in debt, or half of what I am right now.

Therefore, I am selling the house and hoping to buy a used camper with whatever I have left. I will move to where I felt at home. Get a job teaching there, and practice my life's lessons of work, play, rest, and repeat.

Thank you, for listening to me! I know there are some of you listening. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Peace and Love,

Tela

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

I hate Wal-mart

I have no real reason for hating Wal-mart, but I do.

I have been walking into the dreaded arena and told people in the parking lot that I hate Wal-mart. A man laughed one day and agreed with me.

I needed toilet paper and dogfood today. Those 2 things are cheaper at that dreaded store than the other stores around here. Ugh...Today must have been the day for people to go that need the little roll around chairs. You know the motorized chairs that people get into and race from section to section until the battery dies. Then they find another one and leave the original chair in the middle of the aisle.

I had preeclampsia and gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with my last son. The doctor told me to use one of those chairs. I didn't. I thought there might be someone who actually needed it that would benefit from my not using it.

Today, there were numerous people who would have benefited from walking the store instead of riding in that chair. That's probably all I should say about that.

The other thing I noticed is this: Have people forgotten how to wear clothes that resemble clothes appropriate for being in public? I saw a woman with shorty white shorts on, no underwear (that was obvious), and a tank top that was practically see thru. It was probably her daughter's shirt because it didn't fit her! Her braless boobs were enjoying the field trip. When she got up and pulled that outfit on what part of her brain gave her a thumbs up?

I saw people who must not know what it means to use shampoo! Can you imagine not washing your hair and letting everyone see you that way?! Gross! I can't stand the feeling of not bathing. I remember a woman leaving the store I worked in a long time ago as an assistant manager. My manager asked what that awful smell had been. Her. People, stop the nose assault! There are items called soap and deodorant. Its purpose is to make the stink go away. Use it until the people come back around you.

I got my dog food, bird food, and cat food and left the dreaded store.

I did think this bagging to be comical. Have a great day!

Peace and Love,

Tela





Sunday, April 8, 2018

What is success?

I found a picture of Patrick Stewart this morning on the front of a magazine from 2017 when he did an interview with "The Rake" about his life as an actor. 

Patrick Stewart is a success! He has acted in numerous movies, onstage in the theatre, and doing any and everything under the sun! Did I mention he is also a Sir? He is. 

I say this because in looking for a new job in another state I ponder on myself and whether I am successful. I don't really feel very successful when I look in my wallet to find $14 left to my name at the moment and decide those beans in the cabinet looks very filling. Not tasty, but filling will do for now. 

What exactly is success? Is it leaving a bad job because it was so very stressful that it placed me on medications for blood pressure and sugar? Is it leaving an abuser who has since stalked me for years? Is it graduating from college to have a MS degree and a student loan?

Some people would probably say success is making lots of money. Well, I know many people who are way better off than I am financially, but they are miserable! They are like Scrooge and wouldn't do anything for happiness if it hit them in the head! I don't think it's defined as money. Money does help one to be happier sometimes, yes, but it is not everything.

Is success defined by those people around you? Does your family approve of whatever it is that just makes your heart sing? If you were doing well off and people wanted to know your secret would they look at you differently if you told them you wrote smut for a living because sex sells? I remember a college professor in the sociology department talking about meeting people at the liquor store. He said no one wanted to say hi there; however, on Sunday, they all wanted to shake hands at church. Success, right?

Is success making yourself so central in people's lives that they can't live without you? You know what I mean. There is always that one friend or family member who just has to say their point in the hope that you will come around to their way of thinking...because they are so darn successful in their own pitiful lives. They want to share everything with you, and you should feel honored, including their failed attempts to even be remotely happy!

 Also, does success have to be viewed as a success by more than just yourself? A poor man under the bridge might see his new box as a success from where he came from with no box. A teacher might view success as watching a light bulb go off whenever a student gets nouns and verbs. I might feel successful because I did all my laundry! A preacher might feel successful because he had 2 more people in his congregation today. A grandparent might feel successful because they can look at their grandkids and see them smiling. A child might make a C on a math test and that's a success compared to the F he made last week. A teenager's truck might crank. A chef might get a new job at a fancy restaurant. A baby might say her first words. The sun might shine! 

 If this blog post hits home with some people, I'm sorry. It is filled of things I was just pondering today about success. We ALL have success in our lives, even when it's hiding under a shell.

Peace and Love,
Tela

Friday, April 6, 2018

Goal -- Work, play, rest...repeat

What exactly is a goal? It's a dream put to reality.

I believe I had forgotten to set goals. I think I had forgotten about more things than just taking up breathing space in this world. You ever do that? I have been doing that for some time.

Recently, I have moved back to AL because I had a house here and thought it was possibly the right thing to do. It is not the right move for me. I need to be somewhere else. I need to be where the beach air soothes this soul of mine. So that's the BIG goal...live near enough to the beach I can visit it any time I want.

Big Goal - Live on beach

There are other goals that lead up to that goal.

I want to obtain employment in a college. I have a MS in Education, ELA. I have a BSW, as well. I believe I should be able to find a job doing something in a community college setting. I would enjoy that very much. There are a ton of community colleges in Florida. I have my sights set on a few of them.

Have you ever noticed how all of our stuff gathers? I have a ton of stuff! A ton!
This is actually a bit more organized than it was. I have books sorted and cloth crafts sorted. I know I don't need this many movies either:
but here they are! Do you have stacks of stuff? Boxes of things that you just know you will use one day? Psst...you are probably not going to use any of that crap in those boxes and it will sit there until you die when your kids will have to decide why you needed 5 boxes of craft stuff! I don't need 5 boxes of craft crap! I am sure someone is chomping at the bit for those boxes of crafts and they are more than welcome to them at a future yard sale!

That's not even including a shelf full of random crap:
Please note the beach sign in this picture. I will be taking it along with the ballet dancer with me. The rest of that crap has gotta go!

My son and I have plans to live on a beach in Florida in a camper. I don't believe a camper we can afford will hold 5 boxes of crafts for me to just horde for a while. It won't hold all the superfluous things we have just waiting to be used. It will only hold the stuff we use every day. That's fine by me! 

I need to breathe. While visiting with my brother at his camper the other day, I loved it. It was simple. It wasn't cluttered. It was not deprivation in any sort of fashion. That's what I want. I am pretty sure we are headed to the camper life because everyone I talk to LOVES it! They have no regrets. They do exactly what they want, when they want, and expect no flap from their neighbors. Sounds great to me.

I am moving towards my goal of living on the beach. I have many things with which to work towards that goal. I just need to get up off my ass and get busy.

Peace and Love,

Tela


Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Choices...

Farm or ocean? Which one should I pick?

Farm?
My son said it best with regards to a farm. 

"Mom, do you want to clean up poop every day?"

"Well," I said. "I don't think I'd have to clean it every day."

He shook his 13 year old head and said, "A farm means we gotta clean up shit, and if that's what you want, fine. Get me a shovel and here we go!"

He's right, if you think about it. I had a horse growing up and I remember clearly mucking her stall. It is a procedure that will either make you love or hate the horse that much more. I loved my horse. 

I've had rabbits and chickens as an adult. Cleaning their poop is another factor entirely! I have dug up all the poop to add as fertilizer to the garden. The garden loved it. It is back breaking work to dig up piles of poop to add to a garden. You shovel it from under or in the cages into a wheel barrow and haul it 50 feet to the garden. By the time I was finished, I think the distance had grown to at least a couple of miles! And that shovel was heavy! I smelled wonderful at the end of that day!

To think about the beach is a wonderful thought. It relaxes me. It simplifies me. It has me thinking about how I can learn to go to work and come home and relax. I ate supper with my brother this weekend and my son asked his uncle what he did in the evenings after work. He was told that after all the work things he has to do, he enjoys sitting down and listening to music or grilling or just talking with his wife. In other words, my brother doesn't really stress about things. He lives. He works and comes home to play. I could learn to live that way. My brother has simplified his life by moving out of a house and into a RV. He had to simplify down to the basics of what he truly wants and uses daily. He loves it! I admire him! 

To make either of my dreams come true, I will have to simplify things. I want to get my life down to the simple act of living. I want to go to work daily and come home to relax. Isn't that what our homes are for? Aren't we working so we can afford to relax and do the things we want to do with our money? 

I got this. I can do it. Now, let's pick a beach I want to be near, find a job there, sell the house, sell lots of stuff I don't use, and enjoy life just a little bit before I become an old fart! You can keep the poop shovel!

Peace and Love,

Tela

Monday, April 2, 2018

On the other hand...



Flip flops are brilliant things! They are wonderful in the sand on the beach. Oh, how my toes want the beach. I love to sink my whole foot in the sand, just let only the top of my foot peep out from the sand. I can feel mother nature on the beach like no where else I've ever been. 

When I was homeless for a brief time a few summers ago, we ended up on the beach in MS. It was marvelous. It was a beach where we could spend the night. Yes, to spend the night on a beach in the salty air is my kind of heaven. I didn't need fancy digs to go back to. All I needed was the beach and an ocean breeze to cool me. I needed nothing else. I was free. I could watch people walk every day on the beach and see they felt the same way I did.

These people would come daily to walk and they had smiles on their faces. Look around you and see how many people are smiling where you are? I'm not talking about the people who visit the beaches. They are a different breed of people. Those are the people who carry tons of stuff to the beach. The poor husbands are left to lug wagon loads of toys, towels, umbrellas, sunscreen, boats, paddles, games, food, drinks, and anything else the wife thinks might be important for them to have at their day on the beach. I'm not talking about them. I am talking about the people who make it with only 1 bag with a towel and their flip flops and their keys. They don't bring their cell phones and sit there playing on the phone. They play on the beach. 

While there I saw more sights and sounds and smells that I will never forget. I heard the bells of the fishing ships in the early morning dawn. Ding, ding, ding! It made me smile. 

I saw horses being ridden on the beach. The sand flying up from the horse hooves that ran across the sand. The horsetails flaring behind the horse and rider. The sight was breathtaking. 

There was a woman that was so beautiful that I thought she must be some kind of spiritual being. She seemed to be wrapped up in the arms of the ocean and allowing it to show the ocean's magnificence through her own display. She was alone and walking in a flowing dress of red. She'd kind of run a little while holding onto her glasses. She had a hat but swept it off and her hair fell in darkness around her shoulders. She was extraordinary!

I saw my sons playing on the beach. Even though we had made coffee and tea on the dashboard in our water bottles, they were happier than I've ever seen them. Even though we had none of those toys that other kids had, we were all blessed. We needed the ocean. We needed that place. It was home. I remember driving to this beach at about 1 in the morning. There were no lights on this beach where we were at the moment, but I could hear it. I could smell it. I could feel the sensation of the beach atmosphere. I stated "I am home." I want that peace again. I want to feel completely at home in a place to the point that I want nothing else! I want to wake up every day and think how lucky I am to be so close to the beach. I want to feel the stress of the day wash off my shoulders as I slip out of my flip flops and into the waves that caress my feet in welcome.




So, just maybe, I should do beach stuff. Maybe that is where I am supposed to be. Maybe that is where my heart is calling me...to the beach. 

Peace and Love,

Tela


Friday, March 30, 2018

Possibilities

This is my pathway. What will I do with it?

I can do anything I like to do; anything I feel led to do. I WILL have my farm! How will I do it? How will I pay for it? What will I produce as a money thing or will it just be a hobby farm? Hmmm...

Some ideas:

I might raise rabbits and sheep for the yarn of them. Yes, I have eaten both lamb as well as rabbit. I have even had to butcher my own rabbit. I did NOT enjoy doing so. Therefore, I do not wish to raise anything for the food of it, in that manner of speaking. Yes, I will eat the eggs from my chickens; but, I don't want to eat the animals. I prefer to see them grow old and happy on my wee farm. I DO enjoy posh yarns and I know the expense of those yarns at the yarn shops I like to visit. I think I could do that pretty easily. I know I won't make much, but if I can just make enough to live off of with my farm that would be fantastic!

My farm has to have fruit. Fruit, freshly grown, is so very wonderful! It is amazing to pick a cantaloupe and disappear with a knife into a grassy part of the yard to do nothing but eat it and enjoy the sounds of the animals and bees around me. I think I can grow enough to take some to market. That would be rewarding to know others are enjoying my hard work. I had an orchard as a child. I remember picking apples, peaches, and cherries in this wonderful little place. It was brilliant! To think of the difference in the taste of one I have picked myself vs one I have bought at the grocery store is indescribable! You will have to come get one of my fruits after I grow it!

There are a few stellar things to grow but it takes a bit of time management to get it just right. I will have to keep excellent records. Maybe I can do that as well, and it would be more of a cash crop. I will keep you posted on that one!

I am sure some of you are laughing at the thought of a single mom starting a farm of her own. Laugh. I don't really care. I have to do what's right for me. Having a farm is right for me. It will be the best thing I can do for me because it will get me outside in the fresh air with animals, trees, and work that I am not sure can be qualified as work if it is for my body and soul. Can it? Is that work? I am not sure but what it is just my personal form of yoga to hoe in the garden and in the trees and take care of animals that make me smile with their soft sounds and gentle kisses. Some might even call it joy.

Peace and Love,

Tela

Thursday, March 29, 2018

My Dream

I have always wanted a farm of my own. One that provides homegrown nourishment and work for the body and soul, my body and soul. I want a farm where I can go outside and not only drink coffee and watch the trees blow in the wind, but where I can step out my door every evening to wind down with 30 minutes of yoga. I want to gather eggs from my chickens and pick apples from trees in the orchard. I want the peaceful work that comes from a farm.

I went to Tractor Supply yesterday just to see the chickens. I like to hear the chickens and smell the chickens and I wish they would have let me hold them.
Chickens are the best! They act so crazy sometimes with all of their pecking order behaviors until you realize people act that way too! We are just missing the feathers. 

I've had chickens. I loved them. They have even provided homegrown eggs for my frying pan. Let me tell you. There is no better egg than a fresh, farm egg. It is true. They are the best. The flavor is more full and robust. It would go perfectly with my Chipotle pepper sauce!

I want to pick fruit from my trees and eat it. I want to take the fruit to the farmers market and stand with other farmers trying to make a living! 

I have been cleaning up my stuff in my house and I keep finding notebooks where I wrote out different plans for having a farm. Different plans for all the animals I want. Different plans for how I can make my living off the land. I've never had the guts to go for it. I've never been man enough to just do it! My Dad says I'm too old now to try and farm. Am I? 

I think that now is the time that if I want a farm, I need to go for it! I need to write out my plan now better than ever and go for it! I need to believe in myself so very much that nothing can stop me! I CAN have a farm. I can have my dream! I don't have to wait until I really am too old to go after this dream of mine. I want my farm. 

Now, how to make my farm a reality? At the moment I live in a suburb in the city. I can have rabbits, but no chickens and definitely no goats! I had started a small farm at my parents' house at one time. I loved it! We had rabbits and chickens and a garden! We had blueberry bushes and grape vines! We had planted 2 peach trees and a fig tree. It was coming along great! The ground at their house is terrible and needs many additives to sustain goodness; but, it was getting there! We had to leave in the middle of the summer one year. We've not really gone back to it for more than just a visit. 

I am trying my best to work from home creating artwork for cards and any other artsy thing I can come up with to do. I love crafting. It is part of me. I know I wasn't given this talent for no reason. I made a card last night with chickens on it. I love it. I think it's awesome!
I also love the beach. I have been learning quilling and the bird was sitting there asking to be added to this card. Does it make sense to have a seagull with the chickens? Well, it works in my mind. The most beautiful sight I have ever seen was horses being ridden on the beach. It was breathtaking and the only picture I have of that is in my mind. It was amazing and I will never forget the sight of it. 

Animals have always soothed me. Last year when I was teaching in Savannah, GA...it was hell (That is the best way to describe it.) I was scared and prayed for my life every day I was there. On the worst days, when I would get out of my car at that awful place and pray for my safety, I'd hear a rooster crowing. I knew that it was my little sign that someone was watching out for me and I'd make it through that day. A rooster crowing became one of the sweetest sounds this country girl could hear. I needed that sound. It gave me hope.

Now, I have decided and I am committing to my dream. I WILL have my farm. I don't know yet how I will afford to move and buy my farm; but, it's happening. I am not too old to follow my dreams! I've only just begun to live and I intend to be here for a while! Look out chickens! Here I come!

Peace and Love,

Tela


Tuesday, March 27, 2018

My Worry about Eating Sugar

This is me now:
I have lost about 75 pounds in the last 4-5 years. I have done it by cuttng back on things like boxed stuff and store stuff. At one point I was even making all my bread that was brought into my house. We eat more vegetables and stay away from all the processed, boxed stuff in the store that I have no clue what the ingredients are. And, I know none of those ingredients could be grown in a garden. I stay away from that stuff.

Lately, I have stopped eating sugar as well. It's been 6 weeks tomorrow that I have gone without table sugar. That white stuff that used to sweeten my coffee all the time. I've kicked it out of my system. At first, I had done this for lent. It was what I gave up. Diabetes runs rampant in my family and I thought it would be something good to do.

However, it's turned into something more.

This is what I used to look like:
I was quite large! I am still fluffy! However, I am no where near what I used to be in this picture.

I say all of this because I don't think I can go back to eating sugar! I crave sugar. The things in my house with sugar in it taunts me to eat it. I have not done so. I don't think I can do it! I really do not think I can eat just a little bit of it without eating too much. I've dropped the sugar now and just maybe that's where it should stay.

My dad takes dialysis 3 times a week because he was too sweet! Ha ha ha!!! He doesn't like sitting in that chair each week waiting for his blood to get cleaned. He's 75 years old.

I have a very dear friend who is also on dialysis now in his 40s and he hates it, too! He can never stop taking dialysis without a kidney transplant and even then may have to continue dialysis.

All of this because these men could not decide to eat right and exercise and leave off the sugar! I have to continue leaving off the sugar. I have to use things like honey and natural things that don't harm my body the way the sugar does.

It makes me want to cry, but it also makes me want to shout out that I can do it! I CAN win this fight against the ticking time bomb of diabetes that runs in my family. I CAN beat this thing! I CAN win! However, I just don't think I can have that slice of cake or a cookie with my vegetables. I believe it would send me down a spiral of sugar consumption that I'd have a harder time crawling out of than I ever have. I've kicked sugar out of my system and it probably needs to stay that way.

What are your thoughts about sugar? Is sugar as bad as we think it is?

Until next time, I am after another cup of coffee...without the sugar.

Love and peace,

Tela

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Lentil soup

Lentil soup is delicious! My kids love my soup. It is a staple in my house that I first started making in the crock pot with left over lentils. Now, I make it from scratch on the stove top at times and enjoy the whole process of preparation for it.

First, you need lentils...

they come in a bag at the grocery store from the dried beans section. Wash them a couple of times and throw them in a pot with some water. Set them aside. We need the burner for the onions first.

I like cooked onions, a lot. I think the cooked onion gives the soup a much more robust flavor than the onion gives if it isn't cooked. It takes just a moment to get the onions lightly browned like this:
I threw in a bit of fresh garlic, as well. Garlic is superb! It is good in just about anything. Don't eat it raw! It will burn. It has been said to keep away vampires, but who knows! 

I added the onions to my lentils. Then I like to include some carrots into the mixture. I use the baby carrots and cut them in half, then in half once again.
I like them this way because they don't take as long to cook or feel bulky in my mouth. A whole baby carrot is just too much. these fit in the spoon nicely. My guinea pig, Pepper, doesn't care how I cut up his carrots, as long as he gets some! 

Now, it's time to add the spices. In this soup, I add bay leaves, thyme, and rosemary. Make sure and squish these up in your fingers, except the bay leaves. I leave them whole because they work that way. Plus, it's easier to take out before eating. The bay leaves are a little tough to eat, but I love the earthy flavor they add to the dish.
I want to add that I also include chia and flax seeds when possible because they are good for me. I don't really notice any addition to taste or texture, which is fine.

What about salt? I add salt after all the flavors have mixed together. I also like to make sure everything is cooked. Sometimes when cooking beans, salt will hinder a bean from softening if added too early to the pot. Therefore, I wait until the mixture is almost finished cooking before I add salt.

This is what we have now in our soup pot. You can see the bay leaves and all the other spices floating around on top. The carrots are there with the onions giving them a soft bed and the lentils bringing up the rear. This will be delicious! Bon Appetite!

Peace and Love,

Tela

Friday, March 23, 2018

Free Stuff



How many of you think I will give you something for free with that title today? Maybe...

How many of us stop and look at things in a store just because it has that BOGO sign on it? I'm raising my hand. I look at stuff. I even admit to looking at stuff that say it's on sale and I'm gettin it for a great reduction. Doesn't mean I buy it. I don't have to buy just to look. How many people though, do you know that buy crap just because it was on sale? I have had people pick up things and call me to say it is on sale and I can have one, too! It's a book on how to make cigars. Something, I won't do...ever.

Is something ever really free? When someone offers you something for free and you take it, is there a cost involved? Not a monetary cost, but some sort of cost? For example, if I offer to give a card to the first person who becomes a follower of my blog and writes a comment, is that free? Yes. It is comletely free. However, in order to get that free card you have to give up a little bit of privacy by giving me your address. I will also post on the lovely facebook that I gave you a free card and to watch out for more freebies as the days go by. Is that free? I would say that one is pretty free.

I saw a chance to win a vacation the other day. However, it was only a chance at paying $150/night on a condo in the gulf. Nothing else...Is that a winning situation? There were people following all the rules to "win" this prize. I skipped on that offer because if I win a vacation I want to win everything! I want my travel expenses, room and board, and spending cash! That's what I would call a win!

Of course we are free in the USA. We are free to do as we please, within reason. Reason is what gets most people in trouble and causes the most arguments. I have friends on either side of most situations that cause tension. I have people who will tell you all of their reasons for doing something. I can also find people willing to support the opposite side just as stoutly. Guess what! We are FREE to feel as we do because of people like my son who is willing to join a branch of the military and defend those rights. If you roll that one around in your mind, it's pretty cool that we don't have to personally fight for our own individual freedoms. Someone else is holding out their hand and saying, "I got this." Thank you to ALL of our service members for giving each of us our freedom!

Now, I need more coffee. One cup is simply not enough!

Be the first today to offer up a following and a comment and I'll send you a free card!

Peace and Love,

Tela


Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Not Alone Anymore


I've been cleaning up my office today. That room had become a place where everything just got shoved when I didn't know exactly where to put it. There are all kinds of books, crafts, magazines, and keepsakes in this room. As I was sorting out fallen books and magazines, I came upon this note I had written back in 1996 to myself as a reminder of all of my upcoming appointments.

I was pregnant with my first child, William. My husband (my ex-husband now) had decided shortly after marriage and getting pregnant that he would take an assignment at Ft. Hood. I had thought he would be stationed there with me. I found out otherwise after moving there. He was headed to Bosnia and I was left alone in Ft. Hood, Tx, in a new subdivision where he explicitly told me to stay away from all the other wives there, and to water the grass. 

I watered the grass...every day.

I found out that I had gestational diabetes. That is diabetes of a woman while she's pregnant. We usually have to drink a nasty orange flavored drink that is super sweet. The lab checks the sugar every couple of hours. If a woman doesn't process that sugar quickly enough, then she has gestational diabetes. I had it. I had gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy and I was all alone in Texas. My family was still in Alabama.

I was scared.

These officers I saw treated all of us like cattle. They would ask us our sponsor's social security number (I still know it by heart), then usher us to the waiting doctor for the day. When I was diagnosed, I was called by a Colonel to make sure I attended all of my classes. He assigned me a dietician and I was scheduled for multiple 3 hour classes. I had to write all of these things down. But at the bottom of the note you can see my final thought...

I am fine by myself!

I was trying so very hard to be strong as I could possibly be in order to be the best Mom, the best wife, the best patient, the best everything. Today when I found this note, I welled up with tears because I am not alone. I have a boyfriend who loves me dearly; two amazing children; a family who is there for me; and most importantly, a God that never leaves me alone. I am a blessed woman. I am not alone, and I never will have to be alone again. I will not have to feel that way ever again. I have many things that can improve; however, being loved is not one of those things. I am very loved and cared about on a daily basis. Thank you! 

All I can think of is this now...

I won! 

Peace and Love,

Tela



Monday, March 19, 2018

Waiting...



Waiting...

We are all waiting for something. We are all waiting for the one thing to make everything fall into place the way we have dreamed. We are all thinking that if we just wait long enough then something great will happen. Will it?

Ever seen the movie "As Good as it Gets" with Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, and Greg Kinnear? It's a really good movie. At one point Jack looks at all the other clients at the counseling center and says, "What if this is as good as it gets." What if his words are true? What then?

I am waiting patiently, without my usual dose of sugar, I might add. Read a previous article about the no sugar kick. I have listed some cards I enjoy making on Etsy and I can't wait to get that first customer. I have lookers, but no buyers as of yet. I look multiple times a day to see the dashboard change to say I have an order. I can't wait! I haven't gotten one yet, though. :-( But I will! I have some really cute cards. I'll be happy to entertain your needs with my cards!

Seriously, waiting can suck sometimes. People play on their phones now, while waiting in line, at the doctor's, or even in restaurants. They use the phone everywhere! We all have our favorite games we play while waiting. I need to check my dragons, by the way. I'm in some race on my dragon game. I need to win so I can get a new dragon only available with a gazillion or so gems or through this game. Waiting... I must keep waiting!

What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for a check? We ALL want that one! Lots of people are waiting on refund checks at this moment. They are waiting for the check so they can take a vacation, buy a car, pay a bill, or buy that huge flatscreen for their tiny living room. It will be such an incredible size their neighbor will suddenly start sitting outside in the evenings to drink his tea and eat popcorn because he can see it from his deck! Maybe he will get a universal remote and watch it even when the neighbor's out.

I'm waiting. I guess I will continue to wait. Nothing comes from being too anxious!

Peace and Love,

Tela

https://www.etsy.com/your/shops/telawallen/tools/listings/599791961?ref=listing_card_body&from_page=/your/listings


Saturday, March 17, 2018

Sugar kick!



As I sit here writing, I am thinking of how much sugar I used to consume while writing. I have gone a month and 3 days with no extra sugar of any kind on anything. No candy, no cokes, no cake, nothing with sugar. I am AWESOME!! LOL!! It is amazing just how much sugar we consume without even realizing it! My son had a soft drink the other day and happen to notice it had 77grams of sugar and 77grams of carbs in it. Wow!!! For a diabetic that equals shock! For a non-diabetic maybe you just gave it to yourself! Does a person really need that much sugar? Well, that kind of depends on some things about you.

I have a history of diabetes. I had gestational diabetes and told that I probably had the beginning of Type 2. Well, great. I thought I couldn't cut out ALL sugars, but I have! It is lent season and I've never restricted myself during lent. However, I decided this year to really do something in honor of lent and God. I gave up sugars. God helped me. My boyfriend has helped me, as well. He's eating less sugars, but not a complete give up for him. My son has not given up sugars either. This is a personal thing that you have to want to do for yourself in order to do it. Without that desire to go without, you will find every excuse possible to eat it. 

What's been the hardest thing for me? Coffee without sugar. I love coffee. I think half of me is made of coffee, not water. Nope, I bleed coffee. I used to put 2 rounded teaspoons--not measuring teaspoons, but the spoon that comes with the sugar jar--into each cup of coffee. Not bad if I only had one cup of coffee per day. No, try 4 cups of coffee per day. I told you, coffee aholic here! So, that was mucho grande of sugar every day. Not to mention how I love to make pastries. Yum!! I am sure my neighbors miss my baking! I used to bake all kinds of things and take them a treat. Not lately. 

So, I am completely sugar free. I feel better. My skin feels better. I am sure my wallet appreciates no runs for candy! I cannot, however, convince others to kick the sugar habit. That's on them. I wish I could rub off on people! I can't. Do I miss sugar? Yes, I do sometimes. Until I rub my face and feel the difference in how my skin feels now compared to how it used to feel. My clothes fit better. I can breathe better. I don't want sugar like I used to want it, not even in my coffee. We will have to talk about those sweetners I use on another day. ;-)

Peace and Love,
Tela

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

I want cookies today!


Why are we in a society where churching is frowned upon? I know perfectly good people who do not attend church. I have been there! I have been asked to leave churches due to misunderstandings. Still, God knocks on my head and says, "Get up and go to my church! You've got to help people; and, I can help you with this mission." I listen now and get up and go. I get my son up from his slumber and tell him to get dressed. We meet up at my boyfriend's house and climb in the car with the family and head to church.

I go to church every Sunday. I take my son and go with my boyfriend and his family to church at 9 AM. We have an early service because our preacher has to divide her time between our church and a sister church. After the 9 o'clock service we have Sunday school, complete with snacks. Our church is not fancy. We have a fireplace in the room where we have Sunday school. It is beautiful! God was smiling at it being so pretty this past Sunday when we used it. 

I attend a tiny little church. Usual attendance is around 12-15 people, including the preacher. My family tells me that they used to have a much larger congregation until they were assigned a female preacher. Half the people left our church. Then the next season, the church received another female preacher and the congregation was again divided with half of them leaving to attend a church pastored by a man. I am pretty sure that God speaks to men and women; therefore, what difference should it make whether we have a male or female as our preacher. Do you think God looks down and says, "Nope! Not talking to that person today. It's a FEMALE! I made her, but I refuse to talk with her. She sucks at speaking for me. Where's a man I can talk to?" I don't imagine God doing that. I think if he wants a message sent by his messenger, he will use whoever is available. 

I want peanut butter cookies! I have been kicking the sugar thing for lent and I have gone a whole month today with no table sugar! Woo hoo! But I really want some peanut butter cookies, the cookies I like to make. Ohhhh, I have to fight this one down! No one needs to put a cookie in front of me today! No stopping at my Subway today where the manager looks at me and tells me, "My cookies miss you," when I skip the evil things! Ohhhhhhh!!!! It will be fine. The desire for cookies will pass. I just have to keep on keeping at it! Too much diabetes in my family gene pool to go back now. I have to keep on keeping on with the no sugar or I won't make it to 110 years old.

Peace and Love my friends!

Tela