Not Alone Anymore

I've been cleaning up my office today. That room had become a place where everything just got shoved when I didn't know exactly where to put it. There are all kinds of books, crafts, magazines, and keepsakes in this room. As I was sorting out fallen books and magazines, I came upon this note I had written back in 1996 to myself as a reminder of all of my upcoming appointments.

I was pregnant with my first child, William. My husband (my ex-husband now) had decided shortly after marriage and getting pregnant that he would take an assignment at Ft. Hood. I had thought he would be stationed there with me. I found out otherwise after moving there. He was headed to Bosnia and I was left alone in Ft. Hood, Tx, in a new subdivision where he explicitly told me to stay away from all the other wives there, and to water the grass. 

I watered the grass...every day.

I found out that I had gestational diabetes. That is diabetes of a woman while she's pregnant. We usually have to drink a nasty orange flavored drink that is super sweet. The lab checks the sugar every couple of hours. If a woman doesn't process that sugar quickly enough, then she has gestational diabetes. I had it. I had gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy and I was all alone in Texas. My family was still in Alabama.

I was scared.

These officers I saw treated all of us like cattle. They would ask us our sponsor's social security number (I still know it by heart), then usher us to the waiting doctor for the day. When I was diagnosed, I was called by a Colonel to make sure I attended all of my classes. He assigned me a dietician and I was scheduled for multiple 3 hour classes. I had to write all of these things down. But at the bottom of the note you can see my final thought...

I am fine by myself!

I was trying so very hard to be strong as I could possibly be in order to be the best Mom, the best wife, the best patient, the best everything. Today when I found this note, I welled up with tears because I am not alone. I have a boyfriend who loves me dearly; two amazing children; a family who is there for me; and most importantly, a God that never leaves me alone. I am a blessed woman. I am not alone, and I never will have to be alone again. I will not have to feel that way ever again. I have many things that can improve; however, being loved is not one of those things. I am very loved and cared about on a daily basis. Thank you! 

All I can think of is this now...

I won! 

Peace and Love,

Tela